How does one answer that question when what you do is so multi-faceted? Or even when what you do is misunderstood or even thought of as heroic. Way to often when I answer this question people respond with, "Oh!!! How wonderful!! I bet you're just such a blessing to those people! You are just so perfect for that job!"
I don't know maybe I am good at it...
Maybe I bless the people I serve...
Maybe it is wonderful that I work in the field that I do...
But why wouldn't you give the same kringe worthy cliches to people who are going to be engineers or construction workers or pet store clerks or even to the gas guy? Because it doesn't work the same way right?!?! You wouldn't even say that to a doctor or a nurse, but then again I could be wrong.
What I do is hard, yes. Stressful? you bet there are moments when it gets stressful. Physically exhausting? Without a doubt. Mentally exhausting even? Oh most definitely! Sometimes, more often then not, all these things are felt at once in the most confusing array, to the point that all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry... then sleep for 3 days straight.
There are times when my listening skills come in real handy... not just to hear how exactly a task should be done, but to hear past that task and see that the real reason for such description in detail is a last grasp at the last bit of control that is quickly slipping away.
I don't do my job because it's easy. I don't do it because I want praise for "being a blessing." I don't do my job because it's easy money. I don't even do it because I have the perfect temperament for it.
I do my job because I feel that God has called me to do it. I love my job, warts and all. It's not glamorous. There aren't any accolades to go with it. People don't know how to respond when I tell them what I do. I think the reason is because the demographic that I work for is still unseen by the larger society. And not just unseen but looked down upon as less than. It's messy work.
So in answer to the question... I am a caregiver for people with disabilities.
But in so many ways I'm not just there for the member of the family who has a disability, I'm there for the whole family. It's hard to explain. But with a job like mine I become an honorary member of the family while I work for them. Helping around the house, being part of important life events both the big and the small. My thoughts on a wide range of topics are solicited.
Seven years ago almost 8 now, I started volunteering with Joni and Friends, an organization that ministers to families and individuals affected buy disabilities. 2.5 years ago I started my job as a caregiver. To say that it has been all fun and games would be a lie. There have been some really amazing moments, moments that make my job so worth while. And there are moments that are not so glamorous.
I love my job. Even when I get home from a really long shift feeling like I can't get into bed fast enough.
I have learned so much and will continue to learn so much. No 2 clients are ever alike. If you have one client, you will never have another client like that one. Yes you will gain experience and it will come back to serve you well, but each person, each situation is going to be vastly different.
This job keeps you humble and dependent on God in all things. My prayer life has gotten so much better the longer I work in this field.
No... I'm not perfect. No I'm not the best caregiver in the whole wide world. No I'm not.
What I am though is willing to try, willing to make mistakes, willing to learn from those mistakes.
So next time someone tells you they are a caregiver, skip the cliches. Talk normally with them about it. Ask them questions if you don't understand something. If they can't answer a question for privacy reasons they will tell you. It's nothing personal, it's just not their information to talk about.
Sometimes a caregiver needs a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes we just need a listening ear to vent about things that are seemingly insignificant. Sometimes we need someone willing to be the distraction from any craziness that is happening in their personal or professional life. And sometimes they just need the world to understand that their social quotient has been used up for the week or month and that its not that they don't want to see you its that they don't have the energy emotionally or physically to leave the house.
So yes, I love what I do.
I am a caregiver.
No comments:
Post a Comment