Memories

Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams came on just as I noticed the heater making my room cozy. My little fan is moving air around, because my house is so airtight that I get a little claustrophobic without some kind of movement in the air. I miss being able to smell the outside wind.

All of this while giving my room a good clean, which is causing me to see items that I brought from home that I haven't looked at since being in Portland. Last week all of this would've elicited tears, profuse tears. I am still dealing with all the emotions, but they're not as raw as they were last week. But now I have a new paradigm.

I was in Medford over a weekend, went to church down there and had the immense blessing of reconnecting with so many people that I love and who love me. Little did I realize how much I was missed there. Which made it harder to come back. But when the next Sunday rolled around I was so happy to meet with the body of believers at Door of Hope!! I had missed getting to see them as well.

Which caused a whole new set of emotions. Growing as a person is always double sided. One side is the grieving process, grieving what you are letting go of, the comfort and support that you had in the old season. The other side is exploring the new season, moving forward, setting up new supports, making new friends, learning a new surrounding.

And yes those sounds and smells triggered this thought process. Did you know that your sense of smell is connected to your memory center in your brain? Just a fun fact, in case you need it.

So yes, I'm in a strange limbo, where I am calling two places home, and have to include an explanation of which of one I am talking about. I'm sure that it'll continue getting easier. I'm so excited about what I'm learning, and what I am doing, and I'm glad that Medford is so close.